Banned
Not just from Facebook, but Instagram now, too
They’ve been threatening to kick me off Instagram for years. Meta (well before it was Meta) was doing the same on Facebook, where I was in constant jail on and off for the last decade. I’d lose access to my page for a month, a week, a day. I’d lose access to groups, pages, marketplace, all because I was pushing the boundaries of their “community standards,” and often it was because I was talking about or re-sharing awful hateful things others were doing or sending to me publicly. But most often, it was because of my body.
As most of you know, Facebook permanently deleted my public figure page the day after the presidential inauguration this past January with no warning and for no reason. I suddenly woke up to everything shut down with no way to submit an appeal. I was angry and sad and I had just done this podcast with Rebecca Woolf talking about how hard it is to be naked on the internet and how much harder it is to be a radical body image activist in a conservative place like Idaho on her podcast. (If you haven’t heard it yet it remains one of my favorite podcast interviews I’ve done to date and I’ve done a lot.) In it I told Rebecca that I’d just keep doing what I’m doing here on social media (which is seriously changing hearts and minds on the regular) and pushing the envelope until I couldn’t any more. Little did I know that like the very next day Facebook would remove my work forever. I was gutted but rose up and started this Substack. You can read my initial post on Substack here talking more about that in case you missed it.
I knew my time on Instagram would be limited after that happened, so I decided to keep making radical moves and sharing subversive content til the very end. This summer I decided to do this fun thing where I posted 50 bikini pics on my Instagram leading up to my 50th birthday. I just didn’t know I would also get so very sick right before I turned 50 this summer and be so stressed about so many tests and so many bills. I didn’t know I’d get several thousand new followers right around my big birthday. I didn’t know I’d be diagnosed with celiac/gluten intolerance and be starting a new job working with Idaho refugee artists (and a new job curating a makers' market for our fabulous Idaho music festival Treefort Music Fest)!
One week ago it happened. I appealed it and they said I don’t follow “community standards”and I was like “you’re right because these standards are BS.” Guess I finally pushed the envelope too far. At 38K followers and 11 years of good & needed work, making a difference, sharing big and small things and sorrow and so much truth, changing people’s lives, making people uncomfortable and bringing joy it’s all disappeared. It took them all weekend to deny my appeal and I couldn’t access Instagram at all during that time. I really missed it, and my community there, and I’ve been so sad ever since. So many things have changed in my life over the past nine months and so much of my livelihood has been taken away from me with the loss of my social media pages. I had just agreed to post about something and share something I believed in with my Instagram followers for pay and had to let them know I had to back out because I no longer have any fan base. Or an account. All of my work references both my long standing Facebook and Instagram accounts and now they are defunct, with no alternative to find. It wasn’t simply “an account,” but my life’s work and my people.
I feel a bit lost with out it, honestly, and I don’t know what the future holds for me, my work, or my social media presence. That, combined with my new health conditions and big new age (50 is big!!), I feel a bit like I’m in an identity crisis. I’m going to need to sit with these feelings and this new space (or lack of space?!) for a while and figure it out. I’m glad you’re here, and reading this, and holding my heart while I process these things.
p.s. I did decide to start a new Instagram after all and I’d love to have you follow me if you’re over on that app. I’m still a little tender and unsure about it but I know I’ll make my way. I hope that the people who really want to be there for meaningful connection, learning and a lil bit of a good time find me again.
I can't follow you on Facebook anyway, I got banned because I bought this little LEGO Batman set and couldn't put it together. When I read the package it said for ages 6 and up.
Well seeing the humor in my inability to put together something ment for a six year old I posted a picture of it and asked if anyone knew a six year old that wanted to make a few bucks, meaning of course by putting the Lego set together for me. I immediately got a message saying I had violated their standards and was banned without even a chance to appeal. So I have to settle for following you here.
I support you and just "followed" your new instagram account.