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When I was a child my parents had one of those 1970s green Electrolux canister vacuums with the long handle and fabric hose. I remember lugging it around the house and always loving how strong the suck was and watching cracker crumbs and dog hair and dirt disappear from the carpet, leaving straight clean lines in its place. As a teenager I used to fantasize about using this vacuum and cutting my skin open to suck the fat right out. I would daydream and plan the discreet places where incisions would be unnoticeable and hidden, like behind my knees, in the creases of my elbows, underneath the curly black hair where my thick thighs meet my pubic area. I daydreamed about how the fat could easily be sucked up into the vacuum bag and tossed in the trash and my skin would shrink along with my body making me smaller and more desirable. Or if that didn’t work, I could cut off the sagging skin and fold it up, tucking it inside my body before stitching the incisions with a magical needle and thread. I don’t remember when I stopped having these fantasies of homemade liposuction, but vacuuming is still one of my favorite chores to do at home.