I've Gotta Kink For Kitsch

My 10 easy tips for an erotic staycation at a themed hotel on a budget

I have been a lover of kitsch my entire life. I’ve studied it from an academic perspective as an undergrad and in graduate school for my masters in art history. I seek out every weird roadside attraction and make my family stop at them all, often finding more local gems along the way. And when these lovers adult only hotels and rooms hit my radar long after their heyday in the 1960s, 70s and 80s, I began to seek those out, too. Turns out, thanks to a bunch of Mormons (I KNOW MY MIND IS ALSO BLOWN AT THIS FACT), Idaho is home to some of the best. Boise’s Anniversary Inn, Idaho Falls’ Destinations Inn, Pocatello’s The Black Swan, Rexburg’s AmericInn, not to mention the beloved World’s Largest Beagle Hotel in Cottonwood The Dog Bark Park Inn and the new Flower Pot in Burley.

We don’t have the luxury of flying places due to time and money and love a road trip instead. I’ve been so lucky to stay in so many of these over the years. Two years ago for a Valentine’s Day weekend in Pocatello and Lava Hot Springs, I stayed in the Sea Cave at Black Swan Inn and over the last year have stayed in three different rooms at the Anniversary Inn (literally less than a mile from my home!) - Mysteries of Egypt last Valentine’s Day, Enchanted Forest for my wedding anniversary in July and just last weekend The Mansion room (click my links above for fun video tours, more budget friendly tips and pics).

I’m basically an expert in the themed hotel room and also my literal dream vacation bucket list is staying in every wild hotel room I can find and also bathe in every heart-shaped tub in the USA so here are my fave easy pro tips to make your night amazing should you want to do the same:

1. Find the hotel you wanna stay at, follow them on social media, check their website, get on their email list and give them a call to see when and what their specials are and arrange your stay around that if you can for a less expensive rate (that said, their regular prices are often even better than chain hotels PLUS you get an amazing complimentary breakfast delivered to your door). For example, we purchased our recent stay in The Mansion at the Anniversary Inn during their 50% off Black Friday sale in November so it was only $129 for the night. You will need to flexible, as often weekdays or Sunday nights are the cheapest and also each week there seems to be a special room that’s deeply discounted (like $169!) if you can be spontaneous (which is my favorite way to be). I also can’t recommend enough following A Pretty Cool Hotel Tour on Instagram to find a themed room around the US (and the world!) in your area (and their book Hotel Kitsch is also a MUST HAVE)!

   

2. Check in as soon as they let you and stay all the way until check out because you should enjoy every hour there to the fullest extent (they often have a late check like 5pm in and check out at noon).

   

3. Be sure to pack a bottle of wine or champagne and pack snacks, especially sweet treats (but if you forget you can purchase them at these hotels!). Honestly, this can just be stuff you grab from home like cheese, crackers, fruit and cookies. (There is usually a mini fridge in each room.) This last weekend we stopped by our neighborhood grocery store because they were making the viral Dubai chocolate bars and nabbed one for $7.99 and ate it in the bathtub together for a fun food adventure. I’ve seen couples bring charcuterie for dinner as to never leave the room and the guest books tell me plenty of folks order Door Dash, but I love checking out a local restaurant we’ve never been to for dinner. Once it was grabbing cheeseburgers at the new-to-us In-N-Out and eating them in a park and this last weekend it was dining inside the 1960s Golden Star Chinese restaurant where we had the whole place to ourselves.

   

4. This is a great chance to pack something new, try something new, wear something new so bring that, too.

5. Pick up some flickering battery powered candles - flames aren’t allowed & it makes such a romantic atmosphere. We grabbed a bunch of gold star ones two for $1.25 at the dollar store & placed them around the tub & the room for night lights.

   

6. Speaking of the tub, these rooms often have giant ones for two with jets, so bring bubbles or a bath bomb if allowed to really amp up the luxury (and if you forget these they can also be purchased at these hotels!).

   

7. Always always read the guest book. I usually do this with coffee over breakfast, but the romantic love stories of wedding nights, big anniversaries, deployments, returns, babies, sexcapades, and treasures the last guest hid for the next one are just so fun and sweet and offer up fun ideas or tips.

8. I also recommend a small speaker to play music to amp up that ambiance and hear me out - pick the playlist to match the room. At the Sea Cave we had sea sounds playing and at Mysteries of Egypt we selected Egyptian Meditations on Apple Music and they both really set the sexy scene for relaxation and escape. Trust me on this.

   

9. Also, don’t be afraid to check out the TV. As parents to three young kids, we have almost never in 20 years been able to watch adult or R rated shows. As people on a very tight budget, we also only have like two streaming channels and the Anniversary Inn this past weekend had so many, including Paramount+, which was showing a marathon of Yellowstone. We had never seen it, but heard so many good things about it, so binged like three episodes late at night in bed and it was absolutely luxurious.

   

10. Keep an open mind & heart & sense of joy & play & be flexible with your expectations because they just might exceed your wildest ones!